January 2011
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Roommate: Wow; that was an insanely long shower that you just took.
Me: Yeah, well, I did have to wash a year's worth of sin off of me.
Her: Good point.
December 2010
28 posts
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Because we're still in the Christmas spirit (and...
me: http://videosift.com/video/90210-Christmas-Special-200-Christmases-In-2-Minutes
Hopefully that works.
Erin: wow
that was awesome
me: Christmas?
Erin: to be fair, that WAS a two hour episode
me: You always take 90210's side!!!
Erin: damn right i do
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My attempt at a story
This story isn’t even mine, yo; it’s Nat’s.
Nat is my coworker, and he has his own blog. He’s also much funnier and more intelligent than I am, but I think that his mom reads his blog, so he refrained from telling this particular story, so I’m going to give it my best attempt:
At our illustrious company holiday party, at the illustrious Bro-Dude Bassthumping...
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My sadly sad sad life
Today, I received my umpteenth Starbucks gift card from my employer. I’m definitely not complaining, but I thought that it was pretty funny how they dole them out so much, so I was gonna make a madddd-ass gif of me all like:
but with Starbucks giftcards instead of, like, you know, cash.
Buuuut, I ended up giving one of them to my girlfriend and using another, and now I only have a...
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I asked for something with caffeine and a booze that wasn’t whiskey, and this is what they suggested. I was pretty surprised at how much I enjoyed it.
It tasted kind of like Christmas.
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My younger brother and his girlfriend are having a baby. Of course, this means baby-oriented Christmas gifts. So, I bought a case of diapers (whatever the fuck those are), and totally legally downloaded an entire library of Rockabye Baby: Lullabye Renditions of so and so Rock Bands.
I’m currently attempting to burn them all to CDs (whatever the fuck those are). What I didn’t...
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That Noodle Guy (aka Pietro Barilla) and his fake mustache glue respond to thatwhitebitch’s like, totally derogatory post about his eighteen-minute-long opus of a commercial, and stuff. [Ed. note: entirely original content ahead]
Ladies and gentlemen… I’ve traveled over half our state to be here tonight. I couldn’t get away sooner because my new wheat field was coming in...
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Welp, I finally have a helmet, and not to brag too much, but…
it looks pretty dorky!
Bahahaha.
I feel kind of like an extremely nerdy Jeremy Renner in “Hurt Locker.” I have so much padding encasing me that I cannot be destroyed. Come at me, Bro-Cars of Chicago!*
*note: please do not come at me, Bro-Cars of Chicago.
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today:
Matt Lauer: What do you want to do with your clout, Andrew?
Andrew Mason: I want to see if I can get more buildings to have [the word] “laser” in their name … Do I have clout? I feel like clout is something that builds up on your teeth. I can’t even take that question seriously.
— Video: Groupon CEO Andrew Mason’s awkward TODAY interview
Related: Mason tests ‘new technique for dodging...
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My manager just called a meeting to inform us that our new support technician, who has been out for a week with appendicitis, will now be out for an additional two months.
The reason?
Well, during the surgery to remove his appendix, the doctors managed to staple his fucking bowel shut.
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Chicago By King
Not a GPOY… yet.
This is the first winter that I will be bicycling in Chicago. It’s a learning process, and the failures aren’t exactly kind to the human body. Claire isn’t very happy about this, either, considering that I’m an idiot and still don’t have a helmet (I just bought it from Amazon last night after the iciest ride, yet).
The lessons being...
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Wait just one fucking second.
Is that jelly and cheese in that sandwich, Boo Boo?
IS IT?!
You ignorant. fucking. bear.
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Illinois Senate Bans Caffeinated Alcoholic Drinks →
122782:
jeffcagle:
The Illinois Senate today voted to ban caffeinated alcoholic beverages, a move aimed at halting sales of a drink combination that critics contend can spur people to drink to dangerous levels. The measure, sponsored by Sen. Ira Silverstein, D-Chicago, would prohibit the production, manufacture and distribution of such products.
The bill passed 51-0 and now moves to the...